Thursday, April 2, 2015

New Contagious Disease:

I’m sorry I’ve not been very responsive to your emails of late. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of PIST-AWF. For those of you, who do not know of PIST-AWF, let me explain. PIST-AWF is a newly defined 6 year old widespread and contagious disease, affecting those of moral character and common sense.

During January, 2015 doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing this new disease that has already infected over half of the United States, and is anticipated to spread to some Western Bloc Countries. The disease itself affects all the cell structures of a person's body and then appears dormant. Although appearing dormant, the disease ravages the body, leaving the tell-tale signs of its attack with visible and very painful signs. These signs have been labeled: "Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic War Fatigue."

Symptoms include:
·         Severe pain of the scalp from pulling at your own hair while viewing the President pandering to Muslim terrorists.
·         Uncontrollable heartburn at 8:00 PM during the O'Reilly factor.
·         Loose bowel movements from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice.
·         Extreme hunger due to acid –reflux and severe vomiting from the nightly viewing of Muslims murdering innocent people.
·         Bleeding from the eyes.   This is not linked to Ebola, as it is your eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a legitimate news show host.

Since the disease consumes the entire body, the affected people will be identified by the disease’s official designation: PIST-AWF for "Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic War Fatigue."

If you feel you are PIST-AWF, please notify your local election commission and place your name on the list for the cure. It is expected the cure will be available in November of 2016 and will be offered by a credible conservative candidate.

Yes, I am PIST-AWF.

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