Saturday, April 25, 2015

Fw: Hillary

As the Way of Empires go, Dear Reader…

















As you know my dear people, the last year for me has been an annus horribilus. We have been tormented by questions about our handling of finances and the royal house of Clinton has been subjected to tiresome questions about the tragic events in Benghazi–in the furthest regions of our empire.

Nevertheless, I will not be daunted in my desire and commitment to serve you the people. For the next seventeen months I will be traveling among you as one of you to listen to your deepest longings and needs. I will be with you in your Wal-Mart and beside you in your Burger Kings. I will drive with you down the busy interstate highways of our land sharing your poverty and need with you.

How well I remember the days when the Duke of Arkansas and I were impoverished. After we were expelled from our Washington Palace we hardly had two mansions to rub together. We were so poor we had to remove thousands of dollars of china, flatware, carpets and gifts from the Washington Palace just to survive. Now, happily, benefactors from around our empire have given just enough for us to scrape by.

During those difficult times we had to cut back when our only daughter Princess Leia was married. We only had three million dollars to spend on her wedding and I remember our hopes as she moved into her $10m Manhattan apartment that one day she would be able to move on from that humble abode to something more fitting. So as I travel across our land to meet you all I will be listening and sharing with you. Then when the time for the royal election comes I know you will crown me as your rightful monarch so that we can all live happily ever after. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I posted this on Facebook twice and it was removed both times.

Anonymous said...

The genius of this is EXCELLENT !!

Satire is the legal substitute remedy

when you legally can't beat someone up

that you would like to

and that you KNOW deserves it....

The pen is as mighty as the sword,

Any questions?