Thursday, February 19, 2015

Rules For Self-Government, from 1855 (Ideas Our Modern Society Forgot)


I came across these phrases that Google & Bing have almost forgotten. Has modern society with their swiping cell phones forgotten them too? Which leader among us still hasn't gone off the rails? After 1855, several newspapers began to run this column of "Rules for Self-Government", and I don't know how old these ideas are. I think a lot of people have forgotten Common Sense. At least back in 1855, a man might see words in print, but wholeheartedly believe in something else. I don't know how easy is was to sway people's minds in 1855, but a lack of common sense sure seems to be a disease today. What are the Rules For Self-Government, in 2015, for the United Kingdom? or the USA? Do you wind up your conduct, like your watch, once every day, examining minutely whether you are "fast" or "slow"? By the way, what's a crossing-sweeper?
London Charivari, Volume 28, page 118
Rules For Self-Government.
By A Prudent Old Gentleman.
Always sit next to the carver, if you can, at dinner.
Ask no woman her age.
Be civil to all rich uncles and aunts.
Never joke with a policeman.
Take no notes of gold with you to a Fancy Bazaar — nothing but silver.
Your oldest hat, of course, for an evening party.
Don't play at chess with a widow.
Never contradict a man who stutters.
Pull down the blind before you put on your wig.
Make friends with the steward on board a steamer — there's no knowing how soon you may be placed in his power.
In every strange house it is well to inquire where the brandy is kept — only think if you were taken ill in the middle of the night!
Never answer a crossing-sweeper. Pay him, or else pass quickly and silently on. One word, and you are lost.
Keep your own secrets. Tell no human being you dye your whiskers.
Never offend a butler— the wretch has too many chances of retaliation!
Write not one more letter than you can help. The man who keeps up a large correspondence is martyr tied not to the Stake, but to the Post.
Wind up your conduct, like your watch, once every day, examining minutely whether you are "fast" or "slow".
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Papers Past — Tuapeka Times — 19 January 1871 — FACETIÆ.

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