Emailed to me by a member
Idiot
sighting:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the deer crossing sign on our
road. The reason: too many deer were
being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
Idiot
sighting:
I handed the teller at
my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00 and asked, “May I have large bills please?”
She looked at me and said,
“I'm sorry sir but all of the bills are the same size.” When I got up off the floor I explained it to
her....
Idiot
sighting:
When my husband and I
arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car we were told that the
keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a
mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it's
open!”
He replied, “I know. I already got that side.” This was at the Ford dealership in
Canton, MS.
Idiot
sighting:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our
problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had
the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a
1/4 horsepower.”
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, “NO,
it's not. Four is larger than two.” We
haven't used Sears repair since.
Idiot
sighting:
My daughter and I went
through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5
bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also
handed her a quarter. She said, “You
gave me too much money.”
I responded, “Yes I
know. This way you can just give me a
dollar back.”
She sighed and went to
get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and
said, “We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.” The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1
and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse
the clerks at McD's.
Idiot
sighting:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered
a taco. She asked the person behind
the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He
said he was sorry but they only had Iceburg lettuce. From Kansas City
Idiot
sighting:
I was at the airport
checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put
anything in your baggage without your knowledge?”
I replied, “If it was
without my knowledge then how would I know?”
He smiled knowingly
and nodded, “That's why we ask.” Birmingham, Ala.
Idiot
sighting:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe
to cross the street. I was crossing with
an intellectually challenged coworker of mine who asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for. I explained
that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she asked, “What on earth are blind
people doing driving?!”
She was a probation
officer in Wichita, KS.
Idiot
sighting:
At
a good-bye luncheon
for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to
‘downsizing,’
our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more
often.” Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other
with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare. This
was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
Idiot
sighting:
I work with an
individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her
life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. This was a deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office.
Idiot
sighting: How would you pronounce this
child's name?
“Le-a”
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, MO and her
mother was irate because everyone got her daughter’s name wrong. “It's pronounced ‘Ledasha’.”
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she
said, “The ‘dash’ don't be silent.”
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please
remember to pronounce the ‘dash.’
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